So I just watched the pilot of American Horror Story. The adverts were all like, FROM THE CREATOR OF GLEE! so I thought it would have singing ghosts and shit, but it was just some ugly ginger twins being ugly and ginger and basically it sucked. I cannot believe they picked this bullshit over Locke and Key. HOW COULD ANYONE CHOOSE UGLY GINGERS OVER ( Read more... )

I went to see Fright Night yesterday. FAILED SO HARD, you guys. I think Colin Farrell and I are now on the path to major, final breakup. The dialogue wasn't funny or clever, the comedic timing was way off (and jesus, you have the Tenth Doctor, the star of In Bruges, and Red Mist all playing major roles, how do you get all three of them to somehow ( Read more... )

Just finished watching My Own Private Idaho. Was getting really confused until I realised I was mixing up bits of the story with the plotline from Twist, a film also about hustlers starring beautiful Nick Stahl. Now I kind of feel like I should write Nick Stahl a letter of apology for mixing him up with a Keanu Reeves film. SORRY NICK STAHL I HOPE ( Read more... )

Oh you guys. I just saw a movie that had Shawn Farrell from the 4400 in it, except instead of being beautiful and earnest, he was torturing dudes and generally being horrible in a non-entertaining way. OH SHAWN! What would your beloved Uncle Tommy say ( Read more... )

Oh, oh, I forgot to mention - Carnivale is on Sky Atlantic at 9pm on Mondays. You should all watch it, because it is awesome and has beautiful Nick Stahl being beautiful and also Tim DeKay! Then come here and write loads of comments so we can all discuss how beautiful it is and be super-bitter that it was cancelled after only two seasons.

Thank God it is the weekend! I am going to eat approximately fourteen-five cakes and try to push aside the sense of dread that has been steadily growing in me since I learned that an agent universally referred to in Helpermonkey meetings as "that fucking Cave Troll" will be joining my team on Monday. SO UNFAIR! Seriously dudes, you might think I'm ( Read more... )

Okay dudes, googlebrat has come up with the awesome concept of the Anti-Wishlist. No, it's not a list of things that are shit that I do not want you to buy for me. These are beautiful things that I already own, that I think other people should also own. Because they are beautiful ( Read more... )

Oh my God, sometimes I just want to stab myself in the face to avoid being confronted by the fucktardery of the people around me. One of the brand-new fucktards on the team - I'll call her Pugfaced Chav, or PFC for short - actually asked me how to work out three percent of a bill. I was like, "Well, first you go back to school, in order to attain a ( Read more... )

OH FUCK OFF HEROES! I don't even know why I watch you anymore, you Pasdarless piece of shit. Having ripped off pretty much everything it could from the 4400, it's moved on to stealing wholesale from both BSG and Carnivale, except for the part where all of those shows were actually good and had storylines that made sense and characters you gave a ( Read more... )

Oh man, you guys, I have just had my best idea ever! Having finally succumbed to my own suckiness, I have purchased the alledgedly "ultimate" edition of Alexander, and was disappointed to discover it contained no Colin Farrel/Jared Leto sex scenes, no dinosaurs, no lasers and no car chases. I mean, can you really call anything an "ultimate" version ( Read more... )